Ragne's Abyss

Recently, I’ve felt an urge to simplify my life. This realization struck as I walked into my dorm room. I saw how much stuff crowded my space. There were knick-knacks on my desk and a bed piled with pillows. Bookshelves were overflowing and there was barely any space to move without knocking something over.

Every day, I find myself overwhelmed by the amount of stuff I have to tidy and clean. Just waking up in the morning is stressful because of the amount of bedding I possess. Looking at my closet, I have so many clothes that I don’t even enjoy wearing. The majority of which aren’t comfortable and make me feel nice.

Reflecting on my belongings made me see that I over-consume. I often buy things simply because they are popular, not because I truly need or enjoy them. This habit, I realize, comes from searching for identity—using objects to define myself. But instead of fulfillment, I am left with a collection of trinkets that do not bring purpose or meaning.

Subconsciously, this clutter also removes space in my mind, leading me into a disorganized consciousness. Then, I find myself yearning for a minimalistic lifestyle, though I enjoy new things. I want fresh items that are specific to me without holding large amounts of space. Items that are unique without later becoming mundane due to trends subsiding.

I would think the first place to start is to clear my space so that clutter can free my mind. But I tied my money to things, so it holds me back from simply throwing things away.

It’s a waste of money to discard items that aren’t broken. Though I wasted my money to begin with when first purchasing said items. I place my worth in material possessions; a confession I have always refused to admit. It covers the engraved question of who I am.

I feel solid when I get something new, but later dissatisfied when I realize I never wanted it. What intrigues me most is that I’m hypocritical enough to call others materialistic when I hold items in high regard. Probably far higher than others I speak to. The mind can be unconsciously judgmental.

Having the desire to want less has brought forth a new level of consciousness that I didn’t have before. It’s self-reflective because I’m forced into an evaluation of my life. I realize that possessions aren’t the only thing I need to have less of. What is often missed in videos about minimalism is the philosophical aspects.

The release of belongings can free one’s mind. It isn’t simply about turning your home into an all-white asylum. Minimalism leads to a form of tranquility I’m not used to. With more space, I’ll have room for exploration. To find myself and better understand my identity.